Kiss Up!

Shouldn't you kiss at the beginning of a date?

The custom in the U.S. is to kiss at the end of a date, which has romantic appeal. I offer three reasosn why kissing at the beginning of a date is more attractive:

1. It offers some small but routine level of commitment. It signifies right away that what each of you has in mind is something that goes beyond the usual structures (let's consider saying "restrictions" instead of "structures") of society, that "for you," the rules are not only different, they start from a different place entirely.

2. If you are of different minds as to whether the custom should be followed, i.e. one of you offers and the other refuses, you have some time set aside (and coming up immediately) to negotiate the matter instead of having a door slammed on it (usually literally!). The idea in dating is to facilitate commonality. It is not to secure one's "boundaries" to an airtight level of impenetrability, then dare someone else to undo one's good work. If there is a lack of understanding regarding the matter, it should get more talk time than what kind of wines one prefers. Moreover, if ulterior motives are at work, refusal can be a "tipping of the hand," as we say here in Las Vegas. If one person cannot stand to kiss the other, the issue of why there is a date scheduled at all is begged.

3. There is a strong possibility in my mind that the ideal is to kiss both at the beginning AND at the end of a date. Perhaps not, but wouldn't one err on the side of caution?